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Do you have a high conflict situation going with your co-parent? Here are
One, keep it in writing. Everything that we do or that we’re talking about
should be in writing so it can be verified. It’s amazing how people’s
recollection changes once they’re in court or being interviewed by an
Two, keep it short. You don’t need to go on a diatribe about how you are
right and he’s wrong. It doesn’t matter. You’re not winning the case in an
email. Three sentences will probably do. Keep it short. Prioritize the
relationship of the other parent with the child by keeping them informed.
And three, follow the Abraham Lincoln rule when dealing with anger and
communication. Lincoln would regularly write a letter, and then put it in his
desk drawer. And he’d wait 24 hours, pull it back out, and if he still felt the
same way the next day, he would send it.
Mostly, though, he wouldn’t, because he was super pissed off when he
wrote it. And that emotion doesn’t help. Remember, we need to keep our
emotions down. We need to be rational. We’re prioritizing the child and the
child’s best interest.
And the best interest of the child is not in you winning this argument in an
email that will make you feel good for five minutes. Yet you’ll be regretting it
for years if you say something dumb that is just off the cuff.
Everything we’re doing is about data. Keep the data and the focus. And
what about the emotions? Keep those on the back burner. Follow Lincoln.